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Lit by Luna-is-only-so-many

lit. by samanthakayla

Literature by Blue-Quill-Stories


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Submitted on
December 7, 2012
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992 bytes
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289
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You said you didn't love me,
You said you gave it time,
You said you were happier without me,
Then I said, fine.
You said:
Move on, move on, move on
I said, I cared so much for you,
You are making a mistake!
I did everything I can for you,
You said:
Move on, move on, move on, girl.
And I said you are never going to see me again,
You made a mistake,
I did not do anything to deserve this,
I did not give you any pain!
You said:
Move on, move on, move on
There is a new journey I must take,
To a place where I can find somebody new,
I am stepping off your roller coaster to determine my fate,
You said:
Move on, move on, move on
I said I am strong I don’t need someone like you,
I can do better now,
So I lift my chin up high
And I say “now you need to move on”
song lyrics i wrote about my boyfriend that broke up with me...

this song isn't just about me, it is about girls that have been hurt by their boyfriends...

if anyone wants to make this into a real song, please message me!!!
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:iconconstantmirror:
ConstantMirror Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
I like it, it's sad but I like it
Reply
:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Good on the whole... needs a little trimming and pruning though... but I'd suggest let it sit for a while before u do so... maybe read it again after a week or two see if something srikes u as out of place then correct it.

...one little thing that did bother me was that u switched from "you" to "he" and back, that felt a little out of place.
Reply
:iconccdesigns12:
CCDesigns12 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2012
thanks :) i really needed an opinion on what i needed to fix, and i usually do not write song lyrics/poems i'm a graphic designer lol :D
Reply
:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
cool so am I... as a hobby.... nothing serious
Reply
:icondevil-in-the-mirror:
Devil-in-the-Mirror Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow i love this so much! Its such a wonderful piece and it almost perfectly fits how my life is going right now
Reply
:iconccdesigns12:
CCDesigns12 Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012
wow thank you so much and yes i know what you are going through, we are never alone!
Reply
:icontinaaw:
tinaaw Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Good thoughts.
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:iconccdesigns12:
CCDesigns12 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
thanks :) i was inspired by the song "riding to vanity fair" by Paul McCartney and Taylor Swift then, i came up with this song, i hope someone would want to make this into a song one day.
Reply
:iconezzielynn:
EzzieLynn Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Student General Artist
Love it!!!
Reply
:iconccdesigns12:
CCDesigns12 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
thanks :D
Reply
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